I read this quote in Real Simple the other day. And I tell you, it put words to my wanderings and sense to my crazy.
“When I cannot bear outer pressure anymore, I begin to put order in my belongings…As if unable to organize and control my life, I seek to exert this on the world of objects.”
-Anais Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin
If I’m totally honest, which I try to be. I’ve been driving everyone in this la la household a little nuts [including myself]. Pick up this. Put that away. Somebody, please help me. Why is this on the floor? Where does this go? I’ve been sounding like a tape recorder of sorts and not the kind that I want played on repeat in the minds of my loved ones.
But I tell you, I just like order and I’m finding I like a bit of control. I’m not a controlling person but I hate for things to be out of control. And everything around me, as of late, has been spinning out of control. Before reading this quote, I had even told mr. la la that my space is the only thing I can change at the moment and the only order I can work to maintain. Sad part is, with 4 kids, its all [dis]order after 5 minutes of being clean. I’m failing at putting order to things in order to deal with the outer pressure + [dis] order that I cannot control. So I am at this point of totally letting go, because really there is nothing left to hold on to.
Have you had to let go? How did it work out for you? I’m trying to find methods + ways to not let my home be in chaos but maybe trading a little mess for a lot of peace just might be the thing.
And if you want to keep reading, here is something else . . .
Today I read this,
“Excuse the mess, my children are making memories.”
This, of course, got me thinking more on the subject of order + [dis] order. You too? I think right now the only memories I’m creating for the little la la’s are how to clean, and the sound of my nagging voice. I’m all about imagination and play but maybe I’m not leaving enough room for it? I feel strongly that it is important to teach the littles when they are small how to tidy up + keep their rooms clean. How to take their dishes to the sink + help clean up after dinner. But what exactly does it take to instill those values? And is too much of it going to have the opposite affect? Quite possible. And an even greater question is . . . are we just the way were are [some more organized + some a tad more sloppy + free] from the get go?
These are all things I’m mulling on, thinking on + wondering about. I knew this dilemma would hit me smack dab between the eyes once Rocco arrived. There was no avoiding it. And now I’m just trying to figure out how to avoid myself in the midst of it. But as of today, I’m just going to take it slow. And try not to be so hard on myself. Isn’t that really part of the problem? I’m realizing that the mess that I see isn’t particularly the mess that everyone else sees. I mean, haven’t you gone to someone else’s house [or blog] and seen their piles and found them completely inspiring? And somewhat beautiful. I have. I do. I look for + seek out these “real living,” unstaged/unstyled images. And I savor them when I find them. Not just because they make me feel better about myself and my home but because they are real life. And sometimes I think we forgot that that is where we live. At least I do.
So if by chance you are where I am, don’t be so hard on yourself + I’ll try not to too. And if you have been where I now am than share some advice won’t you?
Here’s to making more memories + ignoring the mess [or at least trying your darndest to]. And if I feel completely out of control [which, I know I will], perhaps I’ll work on taking on a small organizing project. One I can accomplish, feel a good about + that will certainly add a dose of order in order to manage the rest of the [dis] order!
images | pinterest |