[dis] Order

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I read this quote in Real Simple the other day.  And I tell you, it put words to my wanderings and sense to my crazy.

“When I cannot bear outer pressure anymore, I begin to put order in my belongings…As if unable to organize and control my life, I seek to exert this on the world of objects.”
-Anais Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin

If I’m totally honest, which I try to be.  I’ve been driving everyone in this la la household a little nuts [including myself].  Pick up this.  Put that away.  Somebody, please help me.  Why is this on the floor?  Where does this go? I’ve been sounding like a tape recorder of sorts and not the kind that I want played on repeat in the minds of my loved ones.

But I tell you,  I just like order and I’m finding I like a bit of control.  I’m not a controlling person but I hate for things to be out of control.  And everything around me, as of late, has been spinning out of control.  Before reading this quote, I had even told mr. la la that my space is the only thing I can change at the moment and the only order I can work to maintain.  Sad part is, with 4 kids, its all [dis]order after 5 minutes of being clean.  I’m failing at putting order to things in order to deal with the outer pressure + [dis] order that I cannot control.  So I am at this point of totally letting go, because really there is nothing left to hold on to.

Have you had to let go?  How did it work out for you?  I’m trying to find methods + ways to not let my home be in chaos but maybe trading a little mess for a lot of peace just might be the thing.

And if you want to keep reading,  here is something else . . .

Today I read this,

“Excuse the mess, my children are making memories.”

This, of course, got me thinking more on the subject of order + [dis] order.  You too?  I think right now the only memories I’m creating for the little la la’s are how to clean, and the sound of my nagging voice.  I’m all about imagination and play but maybe I’m not leaving enough room for it?  I feel strongly that it is important to teach the littles when they are small how to tidy up + keep their rooms clean.  How to take their dishes to the sink + help clean up after dinner.  But what exactly does it take to instill those values?  And is too much of it going to have the opposite affect?  Quite possible.  And an even greater question is . . . are we just the way were are [some more organized + some a tad more sloppy + free] from the get go?

These are all things I’m mulling on, thinking on + wondering about.  I knew this dilemma would hit me smack dab between the eyes once Rocco arrived.  There was no avoiding it. And now I’m just trying to figure out how to avoid myself in the midst of it.  But as of today, I’m just going to take it slow.  And try not to be so hard on myself.  Isn’t that really part of the problem?  I’m realizing that the mess that I see isn’t particularly the mess that everyone else sees.  I mean, haven’t you gone to someone else’s house [or blog] and seen their piles and found them completely inspiring?  And somewhat beautiful.  I have.  I do.  I look for + seek out these “real living,” unstaged/unstyled images.  And I savor them when I find them.  Not just because they make me feel better about myself and my home but because they are real life.  And sometimes I think we forgot that that is where we live.  At least I do.

So if by chance you are where I am, don’t be so hard on yourself + I’ll try not to too.  And if you have been where I now am than share some advice won’t you?

Here’s to making more memories + ignoring the mess [or at least trying your darndest to].  And if I feel completely out of control [which, I know I will], perhaps I’ll work on taking on a small organizing project.  One I can accomplish, feel a good about + that will certainly add a dose of order in order to manage the rest of the [dis] order!

If you need a quick hit of order this or this, might do… but don’t look it only stresses you out more.

images | pinterest |

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Responses

  • Mary
    Commented on June 16th, 2011 at 8:03am

    I think this is a balance that all of us strive for – at least I know I do! I want order and at least tidyness if not cleanliness, but at the same time I want to allow my kids to play and use their imaginations and be messy. I make them put their toys away when they’re done playing and to help me with chores, but I also don’t want to be a nag. It’s hard to find that sweet spot – some days I feel like we’re working well, and others I find I just have to let go. I have no advice – just thought I’d let you know that I feel the exact same way.

  • Trina
    Commented on June 16th, 2011 at 9:41pm

    Thanks for sharing, Mary. I think that is it…some days are better than others aren’t they. Today was a better day for me. I’m going to try to enjoy those days even more! And it’s always good to know you’re not alone, right? xo

  • Miz.November
    Commented on June 16th, 2011 at 9:41am

    I agree whole-heartedly. I am an organized person for the main purpose of keeping my head straight. Maybe if you could find one little corner of your world/house that you can keep in order and escape to when your head starts spinning it would help. An Organized Island, so to speak. I don’t have any littles, but I do know a thing or two about them (there are a slew in my family). Littles are very intuitive. They sense more than we give them credit for. They know that Mom has got a lot on her plate right now and having another little la la in the family changes things for them, too. The dust will settle eventually. And your children will not have forgotten everything that you have taught them about order and responsibility. They know. :) Hugs, Trina.

  • Trina
    Commented on June 16th, 2011 at 9:44pm

    I love the idea of my own organized island, brilliant! And you’re right about littles being so intuitive. Sometimes I forget that!! xo

  • www.StarHughes.com
    Commented on June 16th, 2011 at 2:41pm

    This is such a neat post! And I can completely relate about cleaning and organizing and controlling my “stuff” to make me feel less stressed. It’s hard to think when the house is chaotic and things aren’t in their place – it’s just not peaceful! So nice of you to share such special thoughts!
    Star Hughes Living

  • Trina
    Commented on June 16th, 2011 at 9:41pm

    Thank you ! xoxo

  • Paula
    Commented on June 16th, 2011 at 5:37pm

    That was so lovely. It got me thinking how I need to allow space in my home for the different ways that my husband I do neat and clean and tidy. I’m big on a place for everything and him not so much. We don’t stress it, but I’m realizing that instead of creating systems for him to follow (which is the road I was headed down), I need to create space for him to be himself, which means creating drawers or baskets or whatever makes sense so that he has a place for his things, but in a way that’s more in sync with his dump it all in one spot vibe. I’ll still create opportunities for order if he wants them (I’m finding that he likes some of the little systems — the ones that actually make HIS life easier), but mostly I want to give him room to be. We came into this marriage as two separate people and I’m learning, a year and a half in, how to make sure that we each remain intact, even as we join our lives. Thanks for sharing from such a beautiful place!

  • Trina
    Commented on June 16th, 2011 at 9:48pm

    I know what you’re saying. I’m very “everything in it’s place + a place for everything,” but not everyone in my family seems to agree with all my “places.” I love that you give him room to be + do things his way too. It’s hard to do but really makes all the difference. xo

  • Paula
    Commented on June 16th, 2011 at 8:31pm

    You so struck a cord. Emailing you soon…

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