Ella, Age 14


Here we are at fourteen, my not so little La La. I never believed them when they said, “the days are long, but the years are short.” I’m believing now. I’m believing and I’m wishing that I could do three months and two and six and seven and ten all over again with you. But I know time doesn’t work like that. So I’m going to do my best to do fourteen. To be the mom that you need 365 times fourteen and to pay attention to all of it.

I remember fourteen. I know, eye roll. I felt so old and I felt so me. I felt so sure and so conflicted. I wonder if you feel that way too?


This year I’ve felt so sure about the person you are becoming. I’m getting these glimpses – these real life tangible, see them with my physical eyes previews – of who you were created to be. It’s surreal and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Your gifts and purpose seem to be apparent at a young age, which is a gift in itself. It’s tempting then to be sure of this and sure of that, but how you get there is the tricky part, even if you have a plan. I only know this because I am “almost half way to eighty,” as you kindly pointed out to me last night. You won’t always know the way, the route, the map, even if you have a plan. Don’t let that scare or ever detour you, because the beauty is…we only have to take steps, one at a time.

This past year I watched you take steps. Putting one foot in front of the other. Dipping your toes into future waters. You’ve taken steps in singing, in teaching yourself piano and ukelele. You’ve taken steps in kindness. You’ve taken steps in forgiveness and grace. And you’ve taken steps to lead. Sometimes this means you are a few steps ahead. It’s not a…I’m going to get ahead of everyone else, it’s more like you are ready to put your foot down before others. You decide this is my step and I can take it on my own, because it’s the right step for me. That’s something to be said of fourteen.

Keep taking steps; you’re going in the right direction. I’ll be right beside you, every step of the way! I couldn’t be more proud of you – just as you are this minute – in this moment.

You know . . . you are almost halfway to thirty,” but let’s not think about that today, because fourteen is really fun!

+you (still) sing more than you talk – and you talk a lot, and really fast, at this point in life.
+your Starbuck’s palette is becoming more sophisticated (did I just use that word in conjunction with Starbuck’s?)–Venti (if I’m generous) iced decaf caramel macchiato with raspberry syrup.
+i said we should watch Gilmore Girls together and you said, “ahhh no.” Now you ask me every night if we can watch an episode.
+you tell me you don’t like to read. I’m just logging this because I believe one day you will love it and be surprised at yourself that you didn’t like it.
+you are so good at keeping your room clean (haha….still saying this in faith)
+you have a compassionate heart towards those in need. I saw it spill out of your eyes this past weekend in Chicago in front of Eataly.
+you are teaching yourself ukulele and piano and beginning to write worship songs.
+you don’t like to eat breakfast but you drink orange juice at all times of the day.
+My dad always called me “junior mommy” and I never quite felt like it, you took that title up and it fits.
+you love to watch Dance Mom’s and you have shed tears over Miranda Sings getting divorced.
+favorite words: “I’m good.”
+you got baptized this year.
+your eyebrows are on fleek.
+you sing and I’m shook.  hahahaha. yes, I did.
+you saw your first musical, Hamilton, and it was everything you hoped it would be.






  • paula
    Commented on February 10th, 2017 at 7:36am

    fourteen! that seems impossible. She is becoming quite the lady. Well done mama.

  • Trina
    Commented on February 10th, 2017 at 3:36pm

    @paula, I know…it goes so fast. Thank you, Paula! xo .t

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