Sitting Alone

sitting-alone

While last week was all hearts and arrows and Valentines and TOGETHER . . .

I wonder, do you ever sit alone?

It sounds a bit jr. high as in, “do have someone to sit with at the lunch table?”

But, I’m curious, how comfortable are you sitting alone?

sitting-alone

While last week was all hearts and arrows and Valentines and TOGETHER . . .

I wonder, do you ever sit alone?

It sounds a bit jr. high as in, “do have someone to sit with at the lunch table?”

But, I’m curious, how comfortable are you sitting alone?

In a restaurant.  At the movies.  Maybe even in the car.

People, sometimes, think I’m a little strange because I don’t mind (sometimes enjoy) going to the movies by myself.  On the other end, I’ve had friends tell me they don’t even like driving in the car by themselves.

Is it just the introverts that don’t mind sitting solitary in social places like restaurants?  Personality?  Perhaps just getting past an initial awkwardness?  Trying something new?  While I don’t desire to dine alone in public, on the regular, it’s not awkward for me (should I need to or even choose to). Maybe it’s because I’m totally never alone.  My thoughts more social then me.  They keep me company, only until they gang up against me, and I have to quiet them with another form of company.   The company of a book, a movie, the blank page, or dialogue with a friend.  

While I sometimes have to try to push myself to be together, my more outgoing friends have to push themselves to time alone.  You may feel insecure sitting by yourself in a room full of people.  I feel insecure trying to socialize in large groups of people.  Introvert.  Extrovert.  Yes.

But, for those of you that found yourself not just sitting alone, but untogether on a supposed to be together day, just remember that being alone doesn’t have to mean lonely.  And on the flip, being together doesn’t make you immune from feeling lonely (remember this essay on disconnectedly connected?).  You can very much be alone together.  Valentines day is not hearts and roses, more like repulsive, if you are feeling lonely. Lonely alone.  Lonely together.  

As a young girl, someone taught me to, “turn loneliness into alone time with God.”  To remember that I’m never truly alone.  It became a practice.  I can’t say I don’t ever feel lonely.  Because I do.  Probably more than I’d care to admit.  Yes.  Together.  A husband at home.  4 kids.  Friends.  Family.  Thinking thoughts.  A God that is a Father and says, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”  “I am with you, always, even to the ends of the earth.”  When I feel this way, for me, the only way to unfeel this way is to practice alone time.  To embrace it.  I empty myself of thoughts (on paper. in quiet. with a prayer).  And, find the emptiness is only but a room, ready to be filled again.

I’d like to wrap this post up, like a pretty package.  a sealed up valentine.  but, there is no bow to tie up, or heart sticker to stick together what i want to say.  but, maybe somewhere mixed in the letters turned words is a little something for you, from me.

maybe about emptying.  maybe about not feeling lonely when you are alone.

xo . t

image via nuririn

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Responses

  • Elizabeth
    Commented on February 18th, 2015 at 10:38am

    Everyone says there is a difference between being alone and being lonely, and I definitely support that notion. I love being alone. I don’t function without carved out space to be completely by myself, and sometimes this is soothing or comforting and other times it’s lonely and miserable. That much depends on circumstance, and what things feel in and out of my control (I suppose?). Of course, I’d rather share certain moments with certain people, but I don’t ever want to be the type of person who can’t function without someone else’s company. Sitting alone at lunch, or on the beach, or in an airport…these are things I’m happy to do solo.
    Thanks for sharing. xo
    http://ithappenedonemorning.com

  • Trina
    Commented on February 18th, 2015 at 10:58am

    thanks for sharing, elizabeth. i think what you said is really true, “that much depends on circumstance and what things feel in and out of my control.” i too, need alone time to function well. there are times, when things are not going great and i find solace and comfort in being alone and other times where i find i feel stronger being together…even if i have to reach out a bit to do it. xoxo

  • stacy
    Commented on February 18th, 2015 at 11:29am

    I love that statement… turn loneliness into alone time with God. A lovely reminder that we’re never alone. Beautifully written, Trina.

  • Trina
    Commented on February 19th, 2015 at 9:37am

    thank you, stacy. that little idea and saying stuck, some 20 years ago. xo . t

  • Natalia
    Commented on February 18th, 2015 at 4:52pm

    When I have lunch at school with my friends, I usually end up having a short conversation and then just reading by myself. We could just keep talking but I feel that I have had enough for that time.

  • Trina
    Commented on February 19th, 2015 at 9:39am

    that is a great combination …. some talking and some reading! xo . t

  • Jo
    Commented on February 19th, 2015 at 9:59am

    I quite enjoy being alone. Don’t mind at all to dine alone or shop alone. As a matter of fact, it takes that alone time for me to be able to truly enjoy and appreciate my time with others.

  • Leah S.
    Commented on February 19th, 2015 at 3:08pm

    Great post! Thanks for sharing.

  • dawn
    Commented on February 23rd, 2015 at 5:10pm

    i love alone time … i sometimes think i might like it too much as i can end up very introspective … i think part of the lonely-alone thing is that we as a culture really don’t value quiet blocks of time, so even if we are alone somewhere in public, it is so easy to keep ourselves distracted from feeling lonely by being on our phones etc. … we all have those times we feel emptiness or something is lacking … it’s not a bad thing, in those quiet times we can hear our hearts speak to us …

  • Trina
    Commented on February 24th, 2015 at 3:29pm

    yes! exactly! in those quiet times we can hear our hearts!!!!! i find myself sometimes just scrolling on my phone for no apparent reason, but to fill the white space….even when i’m just riding along in the car with others. i think i like alone time, too much, too….but when i can re-charge or have introspective time, than it makes my times with others so much richer. xo . t

  • Jessica
    Commented on February 24th, 2015 at 3:10pm

    I have to have my alone time. Constantly being in crowds or in groups of people tends to stress me out. I have to adequate alone time to recharge my batteries, to destress, and to get lost in my mind. I love to sit and ponder different things or make up little stories in my head. I also have to have my alone time to read. I am definitely an introvert and agree with exactly what you are saying.

    Jessica @ Sunny Days and Starry Nights

  • Trina
    Commented on February 24th, 2015 at 3:28pm

    i’m very much like you, in this way. for a long time i was really feeling guilty or greedy for needing so much alone time, but i’m finding it is just the way i am. do you have certain times of the day you prefer to read? i’m finding how much, it helps to even start my day off with some alone time reading. xo.t

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