While last week was all hearts and arrows and Valentines and TOGETHER . . .

I wonder, do you ever sit alone?

It sounds a bit jr. high as in, “do have someone to sit with at the lunch table?”

But, I’m curious, how comfortable are you sitting alone?

While last week was all hearts and arrows and Valentines and TOGETHER . . .

I wonder, do you ever sit alone?

It sounds a bit jr. high as in, “do have someone to sit with at the lunch table?”

But, I’m curious, how comfortable are you sitting alone?

In a restaurant.  At the movies.  Maybe even in the car.

People, sometimes, think I’m a little strange because I don’t mind (sometimes enjoy) going to the movies by myself.  On the other end, I’ve had friends tell me they don’t even like driving in the car by themselves.

Is it just the introverts that don’t mind sitting solitary in social places like restaurants?  Personality?  Perhaps just getting past an initial awkwardness?  Trying something new?  While I don’t desire to dine alone in public, on the regular, it’s not awkward for me (should I need to or even choose to). Maybe it’s because I’m totally never alone.  My thoughts more social then me.  They keep me company, only until they gang up against me, and I have to quiet them with another form of company.   The company of a book, a movie, the blank page, or dialogue with a friend.  

While I sometimes have to try to push myself to be together, my more outgoing friends have to push themselves to time alone.  You may feel insecure sitting by yourself in a room full of people.  I feel insecure trying to socialize in large groups of people.  Introvert.  Extrovert.  Yes.

But, for those of you that found yourself not just sitting alone, but untogether on a supposed to be together day, just remember that being alone doesn’t have to mean lonely.  And on the flip, being together doesn’t make you immune from feeling lonely (remember this essay on disconnectedly connected?).  You can very much be alone together.  Valentines day is not hearts and roses, more like repulsive, if you are feeling lonely. Lonely alone.  Lonely together.  

As a young girl, someone taught me to, “turn loneliness into alone time with God.”  To remember that I’m never truly alone.  It became a practice.  I can’t say I don’t ever feel lonely.  Because I do.  Probably more than I’d care to admit.  Yes.  Together.  A husband at home.  4 kids.  Friends.  Family.  Thinking thoughts.  A God that is a Father and says, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”  “I am with you, always, even to the ends of the earth.”  When I feel this way, for me, the only way to unfeel this way is to practice alone time.  To embrace it.  I empty myself of thoughts (on paper. in quiet. with a prayer).  And, find the emptiness is only but a room, ready to be filled again.

I’d like to wrap this post up, like a pretty package.  a sealed up valentine.  but, there is no bow to tie up, or heart sticker to stick together what i want to say.  but, maybe somewhere mixed in the letters turned words is a little something for you, from me.

maybe about emptying.  maybe about not feeling lonely when you are alone.

xo . t

image via nuririn