Why I’m having a hard time with blogging and social media lately . . .

Aren’t we all trying to reconcile ourselves on screen and off? Finding the balance of being private and vulnerable. Staying the same and changing (online and off).

I’m having a hard time posting lately….I seem to be stuck somewhere between. Between what I’ve always blogged about and what I’m truly passionate about. Between being a private person (by nature) and vulnerability. Between beginnings and endings.

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Some days I like to post about makeup (yesterday to be exact) and other days, deep matters of the heart. I like sharing books and Bible verses. I love pretty spaces and talking about the broken places. There are days I want to share beauty and then other days I wish I could be totally free to say ….”today sucks, majorly” (I tend to try to keep it positive, even when things are falling apart. Sometimes that feels like I’m doing the right thing and trusting God and some days it feels like I’m being fake).

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If you are new (ish) here….I’m Trina. A Midwestern girl married to a Southerner. I am a mom to four kids (1 teenage girl + 3 boys). I’m a writer and a, sometimes, stylist. I’ve been blogging for almost 10 years (holy cow) at  La La Lovely and I just finished writing my first book, which will be out April 2018.

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Lately, I’ve been feeling kind tired of editing photos and figuring out what to post. I’d rather just share life. The big things in my life are Jesus, my family, writing, finding beauty and sharing it with others. I believe beauty is all around. It is in all the obvious places. It is in the least expected places–buried among what’s broken, packed away in pain. It is God—“For God is sheer beauty, all-generous in love, loyal always and ever.” (Ps 100:5). (This is what my book is all about–finding and being found by beauty).

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Most of my blogging, over the years, has been sharing beauty found in the obvious places. Occasionally, sharing beauty found in the broken places. And this is where I feel a bit out of sorts. Where I feel between. Like I have to choose to share one or the other. All or nothing. Decorated spaces or broken places. Beauty that is tangible or beauty that is eternal.

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The thing is, while I was pumping out pretty pictures into this space, I spent the bulk of my time mining for beauty in personal dark places. I really didn’t even know I was looking, at first. I was in survival mode (two babies under two at the time too). And to survive I spent a lot of time talking to God, reading His Word and scribbling out my soul into my journals. I knew God’s presence was with me, but what I didn’t realize was that I was in the presence of BEAUTY. And that changed everything.

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I’m a different person than I was five years ago. My heart has been changed and repaired by a beautiful God who is a Father, Friend, and Redeemer. I still have rough edges and hurts and pain to work through–daily. My eyes are opened and my heart wide-awake to broken and bruised souls and I want to use my life–this space–to encourage, to share a salve, to talk about life–here and now and eternal.

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I also want to share obvious beauty. A home that inspires, products I love, books I think you might want to read.

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So I think I’ll do both. And I hope you’ll stay. For a quick hit of pretty. For the purpose, we can find in pain.

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I hope to share more of my life. I’ll still be private (whatever that looks like as a writer and in the age we live in) but I’ll also be vulnerable. I’ll be me.

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I hope you will be you and share, too. A reply. A comment. A thought. A recommendation.

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Let’s Continue to find beauty together!

XO . Trina