Mondays and Feelings

monday

Do you ever feel like Mondays can be schizophrenic?

One Monday you knock things out and the next Monday you feel knocked out before Monday begins? Some Mondays you feel energized and other’s you feel dead on arrival. This Monday is a start. Another Monday feels like an end (even, if only to a great weekend).

I wonder why some days, or even weeks, are just like that? I wonder what kind of Monday you are finding yourself in today? I can’t remember last Monday exactly, but all of last week . . . .

monday

Do you ever feel like Mondays can be schizophrenic?

One Monday you knock things out and the next Monday you feel knocked out before Monday begins? Some Mondays you feel energized and other’s you feel dead on arrival. This Monday is a start. Another Monday feels like an end (even, if only to a great weekend).

I wonder why some days, or even weeks, are just like that? I wonder what kind of Monday you are finding yourself in today? I can’t remember last Monday exactly, but all of last week . . . .

felt like a Monday and not the energized kind. Today I feel pretty good. I feel like I can take the grocery store on (don’t laugh, the struggle is real). Maybe it’s because my house is clean and my mind doesn’t feel as cluttered? Maybe it’s because the sun is shining? Maybe it’s because I got dressed in real clothes? Maybe because, oddly enough, no one had a major melt down before school this morning (which means, yeah, there were minor ones hanging on the edge of major)?

Lately, I’ve been trying to pay better attention to the details of my days and follow my finicky feelings. And I’m actually finding patterns and probabilities. When we know ourselves well, we can learn to not take ourselves too seriously. I know I’m an over feeler. A little overly sensitive (ok, my husband would probably say a lot). It works for me and it works against me. It works well for writing and creative endeavors and not so much when I’m overtired and take things too personal. While I can function on little sleep, I don’t function well. I’m crabby, undecided, foggy. My body is slow to move and my mind won’t stop. And when it’s that time of the month, I’m learning, I can’t take myself seriously at all…which is a really hard thing to do because every month my life feels like it is seriously falling apart (anyone else? – please tell me I’m not alone). I know that when my house feels like chaos, my mind does too. When the weather is moody, it alters my mood, sometimes, too.

Some of these discoveries bum me out. I wish I was more sanguine than sensitive. I wish I didn’t need the sun to smile more. I wish I didn’t care so much about messy spaces. I wish I didn’t feel so deeply.

Last week, on Wednesday, I couldn’t get myself to do anything. I stopped by my mom’s for a cup of tea and after talking for a bit I just sat and stared at her TV, like in a tired trance. I tried to go to Starbucks to work and just sat in my car. I was overtired. I had some stressful situations on my mind and, yes, it was that time. While I was sitting in the my car trying to motivate my way into Starbucks to just send a few emails I got a text from friends inviting Stephen and I to take a drive to a neighboring city and to dinner. We went and laughed and talked and ate and I instantly felt more me.

For me, I know that a change of scenery is good (even if for a few hours), meaningful conversation is my favorite, laughing is my best medicine, and time with friends that you can totally be yourself with is one of life’s greatest gifts. These are things that make me feel more like myself. My true, not tired, not over sensitive, not over stressed, self. But me, me. These discoveries are a lifeline.

I wonder what kind of Monday you are having? If you are feeling energized or like you’ve had enough already? I wonder if you are over tired or over active trying to knock it all out? Are you feeling like I was last week?

If your sitting, stuck, stressed, sensitive, might I encourage you to savor some time with yourself. To get to know yourself better. To look for patterns and probabilities. To let yourself off the hook a little and put yourself on the line all at the same time. To find the good in what you deem your bad and to find strength in what could be looked at as a weakness. Maybe you will find that the thing you are avoiding is the thing you need most in your life right now. Perhaps some alone time, sitting with yourself. Perhaps time with others, and not flying solo. Maybe you need to know what makes you more you.

Monday can be schizophrenic, kind of like our feelings. So don’t take them, or yourself so seriously. Feel what you feel for a moment and then maybe call up a friend and laugh about anything and everything because that makes a Monday no matter which way it started.

 

Monday Image found here.

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