Do you ever dawdle on decisions? I’ve been struggling as of late.
The time I’ve spent deciding and discussing whether I should cut my hair or grow it out is rather embarrassing.
I’m afraid to make choices because I am afraid of getting it wrong.
But I wonder . . . What if getting it wrong is really just another avenue to getting it right?
What if the path we take is about learning and discovering?
What if we thought more along the lines of “path” than “perfection?”
I’m so afraid of making a wrong choice that I end up making no choice. Sometimes on things as simple as dinner.
The other day, tucked up in my bed with my computer in my lap, I thought I, quite clearly, heard the Spirit whisper, “THIS, do this.” It was a Monday and I waited until a Thursday to act. Because . . . Because I still wasn’t sure. Maybe I wasn’t hearing correctly? Also, I didn’t want to spend the money. So, I did what I always do: I got the opinion of others, I thought and thought and thought, and read and read and read.
Talking it through with others is not always a bad thing, but many times what I am really trying to do is take a poll. In my experience, the vote never swings one way. It usually ends up smack dab in the middle and I am still left to decide. Then, there is always someone who gives me a totally different option that was never even part of the equation in the first place. Now, I’ve only added confusion (in my case, more thinking, reading, and research) and expanded the options for my decision.
The decision I was making last week was a bit bigger than burgers or chicken for dinner. It involved a financial investment (ironically enough, about a way of eating which eliminates burgers and chicken). When I heard the whisper, rather than asking others if they thought it was worth the money, I should have been forthright in talking to my heavenly Father about provision–boldly asking for support. In a “talking to God via my thoughts” kind of way, I thought . . . “Well, I guess I’ll have to trust You to provide for this.” And, the crazy thing is . . . He did. Almost the exact amount three days later, on a Thursday (my decision had to be made by Friday). After I followed through, I then heard Him say:
“Nothing is wasted except for the time you took to wonder and wait and second guess and investigate.”
“You could have had more headspace. I still would have provided.”
Training wheels I suppose.
Training wheels of trust.
A few years back I heard a really freeing teaching by a man named Paul Scanlon. (He’s one of my favorite teachers, really innovative, and a great Instagram follow, btw). Paul shared a verse that I’ve loved and known most of my life:
The steps of a [good and righteous] man are directed and established by the Lord,
And He delights in his way [and blesses his path]. Psalm 37:23, AMP
What he clarified, which I had never noticed before, was that the steps of a [good and righteous] man are directed and established by the Lord.
Steps mean movement. God can ask us to do something while we are still, but it is our steps, our movement, that can be directed and established.
Sister, don’t ever doubt that God can’t re-direct your steps if you do take a misstep. It’s when we are frozen with fear or indecisiveness, sitting still, that there are no steps to direct.
I’m learning that when I think I hear His voice, to just act, to just take a step. If I was wrong, it’s just another avenue to get it right.
I’ve been working on obedience. “Obey God and leave the consequences to Him,” some of the last words of wisdom my grandma left me with. A simple, yet profound, sentence that rings like a bell, in the chime of my grandmother’s proper pronunciation, at just the right times in my heart and in my mind.
I’m onto the next piece of wisdom which the Holy Spirit is teaching me “obey right away,” “obey without delay.” It all comes down to trust. Trusting Him, yes . . .But also trusting myself that I know His voice. I think our Father trusts us more than we trust ourselves, Sister. A Father who sees what we are capable of and believes we are ready before we feel we are. A Father who is not afraid of us failing because He always has a backup plan, the ability to re-route, a lesson for us to learn.
I was my most trusting self when I was in my youth and my dad told me that “he would always have my back.” It wasn’t necessarily the words he said; It was that I believed them. I really truly believed that if life hit me upside the head or even if I made a mistake, a poor choice, that it didn’t matter because my dad would know what to do and would do whatever it took to help me get on my feet again and going in the right direction.
Our Father has our back.
Don’t doubt if it is His voice or not. Children know the voice of their father (John 10 NLT). (I bet you know the tone and pitch and even fluctuation of your dad’s voice, even if you have not heard it in ever so long).
Go ahead and take that step, Sister. It’s not about perfection it’s about walking the path.
Do you have any steps to take today, this week, this year?
Loads of Love,
PS- Write back (leave a comment).
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