it seems to me like a good number of you are at endings. which really only means you are at a beginning. maybe many beginnings. sometimes before you get to those endings (that come with beginnings), you are stuck at the beginning of the end (i hope i’m making sense here). a precipice. waiting. waiting. waiting. pacing. pacing. pacing. feeling very real pangs of grief and sadness that somehow collide with disant raspy whispers of hope and wholeness. a faint call to what could be. maybe what you think should be. but, certainly an invitation to tomorrow.
this beginning of the end. it can be a terrible place to be. because beginning of the ends are really just another name for a place called waiting. in the waiting place you may sit and wait. or you may sit and stew. sometimes you sit and come up with 100 and 99.5 things to do. things you are sure need doing and your the one to get them done. and just as you feel 1000% inspired, you wake up the next day with brain freeze that you only wish came from mint chocolate chip ice cream. you feel physically overwhelmed at the thought of doing SOMEthing, because all you think you can manage is NOthing. and, when you are ready for SOMEthing you can’t separate it from EVERYthing. you can’t come up with words, designs, or dinner. one day you’ll write the 100 and 99.5 list of things to do and the next day the grocery list completely daunts you.
i wish i had a solution. i’m kind of there too. but, solutions aren’t always answers or fool proof. the one thing i know is that this a place. and the thing about places is that they are for coming and going. so while you might have stopped for now, you certainly won’t stay. on the days when you feel like you could run, then run. run till you can’t catch your breath. on those freezing, frozen can’t move an eyelids kind of days, let yourself do, just, that. don’t try to run, you’ll just go in circles. don’t try to race because these are days you just can’t catch your pace. just sit and be still and don’t do what doesn’t need to be done. there are days where you should do NOthing, so tomorrow you have strength for SOMEthing. and day by day you’ll probably find that you’ll pick up momentum and you’ll be ready to think about EVERYthing and you’ll start tackling it ONEthing at a time. you’ll get groove. you’ll find your pace and you’ll be on to a very different place.
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i’m taking a little unintentional blogging break that somehow seemed to start last week. my kids are on spring break and i think my mind is too. rather than struggle for words and inspiration i’m just going to take some time to be still. and, i’ll still be hanging out on instagram and pinterest, twitter and facebook too. and, i’ll be back in this space soon too!
xo . t