I’m not so sure why it’s so easy to cast our attention on what we do not have, rather than what we do have? On the problem and all that is going wrong rather than what is good and right. And I’m not really talking about things here. I’m talking more relationally and maybe a little metaphorically. I suppose I’m talking somewhat about “should haves.” Not an entitled, “I should have this or I should have that.” But a “By this point in life I should have gotten to where I thought I’d be. I should have that relationship mended. I should have someone to share my life with. I should have a father, a mother, a husband, a best friend.”

I think it’s easy to put our attention on what we don’t have because  . . .

I’m not so sure why it’s so easy to cast our attention on what we do not have, rather than what we do have? On the problem and all that is going wrong rather than what is good and right. And I’m not really talking about things here. I’m talking more relationally and maybe a little metaphorically. I suppose I’m talking somewhat about “should haves.” Not an entitled, “I should have this or I should have that.” But a “By this point in life I should have gotten to where I thought I’d be. I should have that relationship mended. I should have someone to share my life with. I should have a father, a mother, a husband, a best friend.”

I think it’s easy to put our attention on what we don’t have because . . .

there is pain. Pain from what is missing. Perhaps a missing person, a missing place, or a missing dream.

The thing about pain is that it always draws attention to itself. Its itchy and loud and will continue to poke you until you give it attention. It will fester until you face it. Not only does it draw attention to itself, it wants ALL YOUR attention. It demands that you put all of your attention and energy on one missing finger when you have nine other fingers that function just fine.

In my life I’m finding that you have to face pain straight on. Stare it down even if your sight is stained with tears. You can’t ignore it, because it won’t let you. You can quiet it with medication, substance and all sorts of things, but it doesn’t go away. Pain is just napping until it wakes up ornery and begins its cry again. If you don’t face pain it will invite its ugly cousin self pity, who will want to take up residence too. And those two together are a deadly duo.

I’m at a place in facing my pain where I’m very slowly learning that facing it doesn’t mean it has to be my focus. Sometimes there is a season where it is your focus. The wounds are everywhere and you must attend to them. But there also comes a time when you start to tire of licking your wounds. And realize that even though there are twenty terrible things circling around your life, there are also fifty good things. Fifty good things that you haven’t been giving your full attention to. Fifty good things that have been trying to get your attention too.

This is where I’m at. I’m at the point where I want to give attention to what is right in my life and not what is wrong. I want to give attention to those who are a part of my life. I’m starting to pay attention to where my attention goes. I’m sure this will be process. I’ll still have to deal with pain when he is ornery and when I’m very aware. I’ll probably follow familiar ways from time to time, having to remember to tell self pity it is not at home with me, but I’m ready to take some new roads and pave some new paths.

I’m letting God remind me, daily, to be grateful.  Some days it sounds like, “Thank you, Jesus, for a roof over our heads and food on our table.” Paying ATTENTION to what I often overlook.

I’m not sure where you are on your journey?  If you have things missing? If you are dealing with pain or if pain is dealing with you?

If you are wanting to move forward, like me, then today we can start with WHAT WE DO HAVE. The starting point is being grateful for who you have and what you have.

I think it just might be that when we change our focus from what is missing, we are found.

xo

ps- a bit more on being grateful (where I start).