i had been waiting weeks, minutes, a whole year to take my little guys to ride thomas the train.  as in a real train.  somehow i missed that there was this thomas the train festival deal only 40 minutes my from my home that happened every year.  my youngest have never been on a train and who wouldn’t want to have their first voyage train ride on thomas?  i wanted this moment so bad that i paid $20 per person.  but, soon after we got there, i began to wonder if it was the memory or the moment that i was really wanting.

big surprise, but the day started to unfold slightly different then i had pre-packed it in my mind.  two hands held by two toddlers.  no squirming only sweetness.  thankfulness beyond their years and a dramatic dent made in their hearts for all their lives.  i wanted the moment for me and the memory for them.  we got there and thankfully no melt downs (because it was just me and them), but it was hot and crowded and already i was starting to wish this wouldn’t take forever.  i was more interested in the antiquated trains then they were and when thomas wouldn’t talk back to them as they shouted “hi thomas, hi thomas” (my favorite moment of the day) they were a little confused.  and so the day went.

could it be possible that some memories are sweeter than the actual moments?  i think yes.  as much as i’m trying to be in each moment more then ever before, taking in the pitch of the giggle, the shape of bubbles at bath, the sweet smell of sunshine, the layers of color coloring the sky, the way each curl curves around chubby chipmunk cheeks, i also am finding that as we look back sometimes colors get brighter and moments more magic.  that’s the magic of memories.  they are blurred and bright.  fuzzy and clear.  loud and whispering moments that are lost and ever lingering.  blurred into crystal clear comfort.  permanently imprinted into that cataloging space in our hearts that holds who we are.   each memory an index card of information and insight into the us we’ve always been.  always available and ready for the researching when we get a little unsure of the present.

so work your moments as they become your memories.  live in it.  the good, the bad, the rainbows and the rain.  inscribe that clarity in your catalog.  the colors will only get blurry and brighter.