monday mess : mental de-cluttering


sometimes the mess is not just on the outside.  the mental clutter, every now and again, needs a good clean too.  i’m there.  life is busy and just as school papers have piled up on every counter and shoes have made a mountain at the door so has the nagging thoughts to fix it all, be it all and do it all.  and sometimes its the striving and trying that, instead of clearing the mess, only makes mountains out of it.  and since we are on messes, i might as well tell you that most days i feel like a hot mess.

last week was harried and hot.  last week of school.  baseball games at night.  the mister out of town.  deadlines.  head colds.  and so on.  last thursday night was almost comical.  i was on day 3 of managing the home and kids solo, had a bad cold, 2 deadlines, baseball games . . . you get the picture.  to top it off a storm rolled in and our power rolled out with our garage door up and my phone un-charged.  my mom came to the rescue.  she’s lived these days many and again and knows things like how to unlatch a garage door.  we got the car out, the door down and headed to her house for the night.   in our hurried and hectic ways, we made it to the last day of school, and stephen made it home before another night of bedtime negotiations.


sometimes its just when we are at the edge of losing ourselves (or feeling like ourselves) that we can be found.  for me, it was a walk, a shower a pedicure and dinner with girlfriends.  suddenly i felt human again.

yes, 3 nights alone with four little ones, a cold, housework, work work, chauffeuring and so on can be exhausting and yet when i type it out i almost feel ashamed that i’m making such a deal of it.  but when your in the thick of it, it’s thick.  and likely there is more there, other issues, life living, pressures, stresses, commitments, your life story  swirling about in the mix.

i don’t know how to entirely clean the mental mess but i’m working on clearing some of the clutter.  likely, the method differs for each of us.  but just like cleaning your counters, when you find what works you stick with it.  for me, i have to find pockets of quiet.  talk a walk.  read a book.  write.  breathe.  listen.  pray.  repeat.   i just don’t always have the time or take the time.  when i do make time, i fill it with supposed tos and have tos.  i’m still not sure how to balance it all.  some may have found that magic balance concoction but my hand is up for the hot mess category.  yes, i balance the best i can.  i find a way to meet deadlines, my kids get bathed and we make it through the day though sometimes it feels like barely.

maybe you are with me and maybe not.  but if you are feeling the same way, even if just slightly, than i hope you find a way to de-clutter a bit today or maybe just even sit down and think about what things specifically make you feel more like you again.  make a list.  keep it close by.  or tuck it in a safe spot and pull it out for action when you start to feel like you are losing yourself or you think you might already be lost.  finding just a small piece of yourself is still being found.

and i’m curious, what types of things clear your inner clutter?  are you a consistently de-clutterer?  do you find it hard to take time?  and do you think it is easy to found?

and if you need a start here are a few ways to be kind to yourself!

images : pinterest



  • Danielle
    Commented on June 3rd, 2013 at 11:54am

    Clearing our inner clutter is SO important. My favorite way to do so is taking a brisk walk in a green place. Fresh air and sunshine (and flowers) do it every time.

  • Trina
    Commented on June 4th, 2013 at 10:16am

    nothing clears my head like a good walk outside :)

  • Lone
    Commented on June 3rd, 2013 at 1:48pm

    I hear you. Exercise is my way to de-clutter. With three kids 7 and under, it is a must that I get some time to do what I need to do to de-clutter and that is running and yoga. Life is hectic so be good to yourself :)

  • Trina
    Commented on June 4th, 2013 at 10:16am

    isn’t yoga the best. i need to start that up again!! xo . t

  • Genni Burkhart
    Commented on June 3rd, 2013 at 9:42pm

    Oooh what a kindred soul you are! My husband works out of town & I just found out yesterday he has to stay 5 weeks before he makes it home.Yes, 5. weeks….gulp. (he works for an oil company which can be very demanding at times) While we both sat on the phone going over all the reasons this was good for us & our family in the long run, I couldn’t help feeling selfish and sad. Maybe him missing our 7 year old son’s birthday party this month when we already sent out the invitations sent me towards the edge. I don’t really have family to help out, and with a newborn baby, I have to tell myself (and listen) that I can’t do everything but I can do somethings. My saving grace is I work out, and after being pregnant for what seems like FOREVER, I really look forward to the one hour a day I have completely to myself. Just remember your human, and as a fellow mother of 4 with a traveling husband you’re doing a wonderful job. And by the way, I had the same problem with my garage door when my Mr. was out of town too! :)

  • Trina
    Commented on June 4th, 2013 at 10:15am

    oh girl! i feel your pain….but 5 weeks and a newborn… i’m going to be praying for you! but i know you will make it! you are strong!!!!! i’m so glad you find time to workout and take time for yourself. it’s sooooo important! i’ve really neglected taking care of myself the past 6 months and am really starting to see the effects of it…. trying to create some healthy habits again! in all of the crazy..i hope you are enjoying your sweet new baby…. i always miss that newborn stage, as hard as it can be. hope to meet your little guy! xo . t

  • Kelli Murray
    Commented on June 4th, 2013 at 2:50am

    I am right there with you. Hot mess all the way. I’m not sure that magic balance exists…or at least I have yet to find it. I think it’s the challenge most creative working moms face. I just have to take each day as it comes…do the best I can….and make sure to get out of the house and enjoy the outdoors every day, if not for just a little bit!

  • Trina
    Commented on June 4th, 2013 at 10:12am

    getting out of the house and outdoors is like magic somedays, isn’t it? and i find there is just something in knowing that many of us are at the same spot, going through the same things and taking it one day at a time….and somehow in the midst of it finding some time for creativity. thanks for commenting, kelli…i’m such a fan of your work! xo . t

  • Sunshine
    Commented on June 5th, 2013 at 2:42pm

    Love this, so very real!
    I read a sweet little book called Loving the Little Years – and there was this tip… whenever life moments with little ones seem totally overwheleming and like you can’t make it another second say to yourself “this will be over in 20 minutes, I can do anything for 20 minutes”! It’s so true, cereal spilled all over the floor, another pee pee accident, a toddler tantrum… or all of those things at one time! but 20 minutes of pulling yourself together and dealing with the situation is often all it takes. :)

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